Close Your Eyes
by mtranc3
Summary: Sometimes we can't see what's right in front of our eyes until it's too late. Draco Malfoy does something unexpected, and one Harry Potter finds himself obsessing about it more than he should.


**Title: **Close Your Eyes**  
Author: **mtranc3**  
Beta: **Strife  
**Rating: **R  
**Genres: **Ansgt, Drama, Death-fic  
**Summary: **Sometimes we can't see what's right in front of our eyes until it's too late; Draco Malfoy does something unexpected, and one Harry Potter finds himself obsessing about it more than he should.  
**Warnings: **Mild slash  
**Author's Notes: **The story was written for the 'Scratched Hearts' fic challenge at Crossing the Line Yahoo! group. This is my first attempt at Harry Potter fanfiction, and it wouldn't be possible without Pestilence's help and encouragement, and Strife's super-fast beta work and kind advice. Thank you both very much!  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter is property of J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made.

_Borders are scratched across the hearts of men_  
_By strangers with a calm, judicial pen,_  
_And when the borders bleed we watch with dread_  
_The lines of ink across the map turn red._

-**Marya** **Mannes**-

He jabs him hard at the shoulder, making him lose his balance.

"I said 'a _word'_ Potter".

"I don't have time for you!"

Harry frantically tries to shove Draco out of his way, but Draco turns around once more, blocking the passage.

"What are you doing you fucking wanker, get out of the way!"

He grabs him by the head and kisses him on the mouth. Harry tries to resist and moves backwards, but he can feel the urgency in Draco's grip, so he just stands there unmoving. Draco releases him and with a crooked grimace that could have been a smile, he says: "Be sure to save the world Potter", and charges to the room. Harry hears him yelling at someone, but it's all lost in the hubbub. The only thing that passes from Harry's mind is that he can't let anyone else sacrifice themselves for him, not even Malfoy.

…

"My eyes! What did you do to me you little wench?" The black clad figure clutches her face, which is scrunched up in pain.

"Hermione?"

Hermione gives him a smug smile and produces a small black bottle, "Pepper spray, muggle self-defense apparatus, quite effective against Death Eaters too, apparently."

"Pepper what?"

"Come on Ron, we have to hurry, I'll explain later."

…

_It was like a dream sequence; Ron and Hermione finding him, the three of them going inside the Great Hall, curses bouncing off the walls, screaming and smoke everywhere, and then Harry was opposite Voldemort, facing him all alone, and the one thing he remembers clearly, is that in the haze of a green light, he saw his parents and Sirius._

…

Malfoy is in a magical coma, after being hit by two conflicting spells at the same time, which had Dark Arts imprints. Madame Pomfrey thinks it's a way of the organism to defend itself. She performed a number of spells, and even Snape helps with the restorative potions, but Malfoy remains unresponsive. They believe that he will wake up on his own accord. When it comes to Draco, Harry is bewildered; Malfoy was their tip-off, he had killed his father that night. He visits him only once, and asks him to wake up. Draco then opened his eyes, startling Harry. He calls for Madame Pomfrey, but she says it's only a reflex, he's still unconscious. Hermione thinks Malfoy is in magical detachment - he can't make himself wake up.

A lot of people are dead; Luna Lovegood and Dean Thomas among others. Harry receives Merlin first order, and many students get distinctions. The 1-5th year exams are canceled by McGonagall, the 6th and 7th years still have to take them, but they are just iconic. The 'heroes' will obtain virtually any position they want. Harry will become an Auror, Ron wants to work in the Department of Sports in the Ministry, and Hermione is torn between the Department of Magical Creatures (that bomb device they had fashioned on Dobby as a last line of defense, was an unethical and atrocious thing to do, no matter that Dobby was willing, and didn't have to sacrifice himself in the end), and the Unspeakables, but McGonagall offers her the now empty seat in Charms and she accepts.

Nothing seems to quiet down, instead everyone is moving, trying to restore the Wizarding World back to its pre-war state, tie up loose ends, until the realization will finally sink in. The time to mourn the dead will have to wait.

Harry feels empty, he never thought that in the aftermath he'd feel this way; he can't believe the fighting and hiding is over. Only Ginny can make him feel a little bit better, but it's not nearly enough.

He finds himself dwelling on that moment more than he should. He can't rationalize it, so he somehow starts making elaborate scenarios, but the face in his dreams is not exactly Malfoy's (although it's definitely a boy; Harry is sometimes sickened by this). He thinks it doesn't matter anyway, since Malfoy, for the time being, is out of it, and if he ever wakes up, Harry will stop these mind stories. He is sure anyway, that if he sees Malfoy awake he'll cringe so badly, so these little daydreams don't matter, they're not important.

But Malfoy does wake up. Harry tries to avoid passing by the infirmary at all costs. Eventually he has to visit, and when he sees Draco awake it hits him that this is a real person, with a real sneer. And... he doesn't cringe. He tries, he really does, but the repulsion just doesn't come.

_Serves me right for indulging in those fantasies_, he thinks. He keeps stealing glances whenever he can, and when Malfoy suddenly gets tired of the cat and mouse game and stares straight back, Harry doesn't think it's possible for him to blush any harder, or be any more obvious. He's getting so paranoid that even Snape has figured it out by now, and wouldn't that be something?

_Oh good, it seems I still have the ability to cringe._

Malfoy is of course his usual, obnoxious self, and Harry wonders why he had thought otherwise.

"Why do I have to suffer your presence Potter?"

The only thing he can think of replying with is: "Death Eaters are cowards, they all fled after Voldemort died".

"It's called a strategical retreat, Potter. And I don't know if you've noticed, but I wasn't exactly on their side".

There is bitterness underneath the sarcasm, and Harry bites his lip.

Madame Pomfrey fusses over him but he seems perfectly fine, sneer in place, witty comeback-ready, and seeming more bored than a person who missed out on the last month or so should be.

They are left alone, Harry is tittering at the end of Malfoy's bed looking around the infirmary as if he'd never been there before, and thus missing the softness that passes momentarily over Draco's features.

"Potter".

Harry turns as if he's completely surprised that there is somebody else very much alive in the room with him

"hm...?" He says, trying to sound nonchalant

"We need to talk."

"I know."

"No, you don't. That time before... you have to understand that I was under a lot of stress, and not thinking clearly, therefore not responsible for my actions".

It's the last thing Harry is expecting to hear, and the awkward boy is gone, the fantasies are wiped out, and he sees Malfoy for what he really is... well... essentially a Malfoy.

"It's so like you Draco, to avoid taking responsibility!"

"You are a weird one Potter..." he raises one eyebrow, "but I wasn't quite finished. I didn't _plan_ on it, but that doesn't go without saying that I didn't found it... interesting".

"Oh..."

_Oh indeed_ thinks Draco, and he is almost tempted to laugh seeing Potter deflated once again.

"Er... are you sure you're quite alright in the head? Maybe the coma left you with some judgment impairment or something... You found it _interesting_?"

_No, he isn't fazed_, thinks Draco, _he's neurotic_.

"Yes, didn't you?" And he looks at him right in the eyes, and it's a challenge, like it has always been between them, and Harry can't back down now, especially now.

"I never thought..."

"Me neither," Draco cuts in as he raises from the bed, stalking Harry.

It's so different from the last time, so unlike his fantasies, and Draco's hair is flattened by the pillow, and Harry wants to run out of the infirmary.

But he doesn't, and when he feels Draco's breath on his cheek, and Draco's hand on his shoulder, he opens his mouth and closes his eyes.

"Harry! _Harry!_ Wake up!"

He opens his eyes and sees Ginny standing over him. He blinks a couple of times, as the dream slips from his mind. He is annoyed that Ginny roused him up, he wants to know what the dream meant, and the state of semi-arousal he is in does not help his mood in the least.

"Sorry to wake you Harry, but Hermione came in to announce something and I saw you weren't around, so..."

"Sorry Ginny, I'm out of it lately..." he admits, and looks at Ginny's face, but doesn't find solace there;

"Harry, Malfoy is dead."

And he can't find the answer, not even in his dreams, because they are torture. Everything goes back to normal, but everything is different. Sometimes he thinks that he is the only one who remembers, and sometimes he wishes hadn't woken up. He wishes he had waited, he wishes he had asked, he wishes -

the end


End file.
